I was going to cut and past them here, but that would entail editing out things like e-mail addresses, and I am inherently lazy, so I'll just paraphrase, oh and I'll put the messages in italics and my miscellaneous two-cents-worth in regular type:
Message 1: 'if you want to know what your husband is doing, check out his profile on Adult Friend Finder' (you can see why I assumed it was spam)
- Just in case, I asked my husband (for purposes of this blog, let's call him... The Man) if he knew anything about that. He said no, but maybe we should check it out *wink wink, nudge nudge*.
Message 2: - wait, the phrasing is too good, I'm just going to have to cut and paste - "i d be leary of what he s doing on his saturday morning s at work and his business trips."
Let's break this down, shall we? Well, Saturday mornings he's working his ass off at the office between the hours of 6 and 9 a.m. That would be one heck of an affair to keep it going that early. I like sex just as much as the next guy, but it would have to be one awesome piece of ass to get me out of bed that early. Business trips? Getting into a tiny town after 10 p.m. then getting up at 5:30 to head to a client's office isn't really conducive to gettin' it on... plus, he's gone during the week. Is she unemployed? Is she paying for her own airplane tickets?
Message 3: this one insinuates that 'his long lunches with a male coworker are really time with her'. Um, The Man very rarely even takes a lunch, never mind a long one.
Message 4: just told me that he had an 'alternate e-mail address' and gave it to me. Vague...
At this point, I got tired of reading texts. I set up a new e-mail account (so I can keep this all clear in my mind), called The Man and let him know what was up then I started e-mailing her... I'll give you the first few just to whet your appetite, but then I have to go. I am very busy and important. I cannot be sitting on the damn interwebs all day chatting to you :-P
ME: If you're so concerned about playing good samaritan here, why don't you start by growing up and contacting me like an adult - with your real name and valid concerns.
HER: because, i don't want to get to know you, (gratuitous use of my name), and i'll only tell you what you want to know. if you prefer to be oblivious about your husband's indiscretions, i'll leave you alone.
ME: right. you're the good guy. no thanks, crazy.
ME: I've had enough ridiculous drama. If you have legitimate proof of actual indiscretions, then let's see 'em. If all you have are veiled references to things in the past, then go away.
- then we took a little break while she composed her reply... it's a whopper! Get comfortable, it'll take a while to wade through... I can't resist, my notes in red...
HER: I met your husband on adult friend finder in September. I've gone with him on a business trip - in which he lost his pants (yep, The Man uses it as an anecdote now - as in 'I travel so much that I lost a pair of pants). I frequently meet him in his office on Saturday mornings (with all of his coworkers there? wow.), and during the week in hotels. really? where is he getting the dough for this - we do the bills together...
I'm ending this. I'm blocking his email and IM - so he can no longer contact me. good. sounds like a plan
I've had this being done to me as well, and as much as it hurt, I always wanted to know. being done to me? really?
Yes, he posts that he's married. I never intended it to go that far. I just wanted to chat - but of course, it got further than I intended. never wanted it to go that far?... oh. well then I would suggest NOT joining skanky sex sites.
He loves you - he tells me so..."I love her alot. I like spending time with her. I can't imagine us not being a family." so sweet.
I ask him why he does this - "I dont know, bored, I guess..."
And that may be it, he may be just bored (at work). Who knows...?
(Name of The Man's coworker) is his alibi, because (Name of The Man's coworker) is a cheater as well...they both have stuff on each other. They go out with each other (Vegas) they went to an continuing ed class in Vegas. The Man swears that the hookers who propositioned them raised their rates after his coworker (Mr Smooth) attempted to drunk bargain with them...
I'm telling you this because - I do want you two to be together. I know you have a daughter, and I don't want to interfere. And, I'm ending this. again, such a sweet girl.
I just want him to stop doing this - and I don't know how to make him stop - other than to make you aware. why would you care if he stops?
Maybe seek some couples counseling - get him to talk - I can tell there is a lot on his mind, he's not wanting to say.
I guarantee you, I will no longer have contact with him - but I also know he has other "contacts"
And he has said "i need to make another yahoo ID" - so there are always ways of eluding you.
I know, besides me...there has been at least 3-4 women...but that's all he has told me about -
oh, the innuendoes / backhanded 'compliments' are flying so fast that I should be confused and unhappy... yet I'm not.
oh, the innuendoes / backhanded 'compliments' are flying so fast that I should be confused and unhappy... yet I'm not.
The best I can surmise is this started when he was 37 - hence the drake3737... you have no idea why he uses 37? oh, so you guys are real close.
Every time you get suspicious, he just tells me to cool it down...until things calm down.
I'm happy to let you know as much as you want to know... PLEASE fill me in!!!!
I really hope that you resolve this. I know he loves you a lot, and he is a very good guy, very sweet guy...just has a bad bone, that needs to get resolved. Don't give up on him. You guys are a very sweet couple together.
-----------------------------
I know, right!? It's all over the damn map. She's actually a pretty good manipulator if you're not expecting it. She keeps telling me I'm awesome (yet stupid) and he's great (yet a cheating bastard). That's where she got me last time. This time, I fired off a response and got nothing. This morning, I got tired of waiting, and sent another missive... and started this blog... but those are stories for another post.
- Wait, least you think that this is all fun and games, let me be very clear - when the initial affair concluded I was VERY hurt and wounded and fragile. I sought professional counseling and benefitted greatly from it. If you have stumbled on this blog because of the 'affair' tag, this is all real. It's just that I'm several years out from the hurt at this point. I'm able to look at it objectively (something that was a LOOOOOONG time coming) and this particular encounter is now a game. I do have real things to say about what happened... but I can only type so fast... all in good time, doves... all in good time...
No comments:
Post a Comment