New Year's Day 2008, my life fell apart. My husband came to me and announced that he was having an affair. He wanted to end it, but wanted to tell me first, because he was certain that she would 'go crazy' when he broke it off with her.
He was right. She turned into a nut job. So in addition to the emotional devastation of the affair announcement, I now had a psycho bitch playing manipulative mind games with my husband and doing her best to hurt me as well. It worked. I let her wound me to the core.
I let the nastiness of our on-line encounters take me to a very dark emotional place, but even in the midst of what I viewed as total devastation, we began to work on our marriage. We started counseling. We learned how to communicate. We moved from a house that now felt dirty because of the things that happened there and started creating a home. We started a family.
All of these things took time. It was not a fast, smooth or easy process. In fact, it was gut-wrenchingly, agonizingly hard. We continued to wound each other even as we traveled forward. It wasn't until recently that we've become the family that we are today. We're loving. We're strong. We're close. We want to spend time together. We still have moments of crazy, but we work on them. We don't allow things to divide us.
Which brings me to today - or rather this week. Someone has intruded into our lives. Someone who's only intent is to play games that wound. I thought about being hurt, but then I decided to stand tall. In theory, all of her accusations are true. It's just that the context is lacking...
I've been trying to find a way to work through the residual emotional fallout from the affair. I had even intended to start a blog about it - I just never made the time. Well, folks, the time is now. I named this blog 'Sunshine Feels So Good', because 1) it does and 2) it's a corny thing to say and 3) I don't live in fear of what might jump out of the shadows created by lies and misery anymore. If the truth is hurtful, then so be it. It's still the truth, and it can be survived.
In my next few posts, we will explore the texts and e-mails sent by this person and my responses to them. When I'm done with that, maybe I'll get to the serious stuff.
Maybe I won't need to.
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