Continuing the Story

Right after The Man's relationship with... oh hell, I haven't given her a nickname (aside from Boobs McChesty, and that's just stating a fact), and since she's never personally attacked me, it feels wrong to give her a mean one... how 'bout, The One Who Threw Him Back (or TOWTHB for short)... ended, we  separated.

We've discussed it since then, and the only way that The Man can describe it is this (mind you, I'm paraphrasing...): He has always struggled with self-esteem issues. Especially pertaining to his looks. I think he's gorgeous, and he's always jokingly agreed with me, but he never really believed it. Apparently, within the last few years he 'grew into his looks'. Women started paying attention to him. Lots of women. This was something that had never happened to him before. He says that all of a sudden he felt really really selfish. He wanted to act out and act on his new-found stud status, and he didn't want to care about how that would affect me or our marriage. So he disconnected, and did what he wanted. I didn't notice the disconnect the first time around because we were so out of touch. The second time, I was paying attention. I knew something was wrong, but he was so adamant that there was no one else. I chose to believe him.

When I sent the e-mail that led to the end of his affair with TOWTHB, he was still in that shut-off, selfish place. All he could see was that something that he wanted was no longer available. He was furious with me. I was livid with him. We stopped communicating productively. We resorted to terse e-mails and angry phone conversations.

We plodded along in this manner for a while. My due date approached rapidly, and my hormones magnified my emotions until I was unable to behave calmly and rationally when it came to The Man. His stubbornness and selfish attitude made it impossible for him to back down or open up. In the mean time, he felt a bit isolated - what with not having a wife or girlfriend to visit with - so he... wait for it... contacted the SlutChild, and brought her back into his life. As his 'friend'. I had no idea that she was back. He managed to keep that bit of lunacy all to himself for quite a while. She didn't think that was as much fun as poking at me, so she posted a blog about how happy she was for me - what with the baby and all - and how she loved being friends with The Man - and other fun stuff like that. I tried to find it so I could post it here, but she has removed it...

When I called The Man freaking out because she even knew that I was pregnant, and wondered how that could be so, his answer was something along the lines of 'I told her.' I went a little bit crazy, and demanded to know why he was speaking to her. 'Because she's my friend!' I inquired (nastily) as to why thought that was alright since she had a habit of spending quite a bit of time trying to make me miserable. He replied that he 'didn't have any other friends right now', and he 'needed one'. Delightful. So, yet again the manipulative psycho was back in my life, and yet again HE was the one who had brought her in.

You may wonder how I even knew about it. Fair question. My best friend used to keep tabs on SlutChild's on-line accounts for me since she had such a propensity for popping up to spew poison. All of her previous posts had been 'private'. That particular post was 'public'. When my bestie used the same public forum to poke at her, the SlutChild went NUTSOS. It was exactly the opportunity she had been hoping for. She sent me an e-mail (that I deleted without reading) and began to (once again) barrage The Man with phone calls to his office. This caused HIM to call and yell at me for provoking her. After I threw up, I let him have it. HE was the one who had brought this bitch back into my life, and I was not about to apologize for standing up to her. I asked that he consider just how important she was to him, since an on-line post that she had to search for had sent her into orbit, 'ruined' his work day, and caused him to upset his pregnant wife so much that she puked. Is that the kind of person that he wanted in his life? Is that who he wanted to be?

Honestly, I feel like this was a turning point for us. Nothing changed overnight, but it did start to change. We had another week of insanity during which I read then deleted all of the messages on his cell phone. This led to a back-and-forth during which I 1) demanded that he trade living spaces with me as I now hated the house, 2) refused to apologize for 'invading his privacy' and 3) generally acted like a crazy person. I know - healthy, right?! For his part, The Man tried to be the calm, rational one, but it was hard. Since my due date came and went during that week, our priorities shifted drastically. We dropped the matter, and had a baby instead - the most awesome, amazing baby that anyone has ever given birth to... aside from that Mary lady...