Just 'Off'

Today is an 'off' day. There is nothing specifically wrong. Nothing in particular happened in the preceding days. I even got plenty of sleep - sort of... but sort of enough sleep is pretty much the best that the mother of a toddler can hope for most of the time. So, in theory, I am ahead of the game. But that's not how I feel.

I feel isolated. I really only have 2 (maybe 3) friends who have kids around the age of my Darling. Only one of them is also a stay at home mom. Everybody else has wildly different schedules. I'm lonely.

I had just decided that I was ready to shove myself back into the work force (in some capacity) when I found out that I was pregnant. I had gotten myself all jazzed about being part of a community of grownups again AND having some additional income to help cover the deficits in our household budget. *sigh* I'm now questioning the timing of this baby, but, um, the baby is going to show up in February even if we're homeless... which we won't be... I'm just feeling dramatic...

SO, my stupid high school reunion. I thought that I had extricated myself from the planning, but I was still up in the air about weather or not to go. WELL, the classmate who picked up the reigns now wants help. Specifically, my help. She feels like I offered, even though I was deliberately vague... *sigh* So I told her I would help (for real this time). Then she went ahead and 'finalized' all of the details - including price - and posted it all before we could all meet. The price that she set per person is WAY above what I would pay for any meal in that venue, and it doesn't even include drinks or an actual meal - just appetizers. Now I REALLY don't want to be involved, and I sure as heck don't plan on paying that price to hang out with those folks.

The Toddler is two. Which is awesome in so many ways. It is also exhausting and frustrating in so many other ways. I have no idea what will set her off into a tantrum. I usually have no idea how to stop said tantrum once it has begun. Today at the park, she lost her shit because I was drinking water while I pushed her on the swing. Seriously? I'm not allowed to hydrate? But then she turned around and put herself down for a nap without protest. Ah. maze. ing. and probably never to be repeated. *sigh*

Because of travel for work, The Man has only attended one meeting a week for the last two weeks. This makes me very nervous. It's none of my business, and there's nothing that I can do about it. He'll either go, or he won't. He'll either learn how to get better, or he won't. But it's freaking me out.

I'm gonna take a nap.