...

We talked for a long time tonight. I don't feel any better. I don't think that The Man does either.

I'm having a hard time lumping 'it' all together as The Addiction. I acutely feel the sting of each betrayal.

The Man seems to be stuck in a loop of 'it all runs together for me', 'those girls meant nothing', 'I know what I said to them, but I didn't mean any of it'. What he cannot seem to accept is that those statements actually make it all worse. That he can be so calculatingly manipulative. That he refuses to see the effect this has on the women he has used. That the words of love he utters to me have been used in situations that 'mean nothing'. How in the world can I ever believe him again?

He also managed to slide in an unintended hurt. In trying to tell me how little the latest one meant to him, he said 'It's like you're trying to compare her to Slut Child or Boobs McChesty (obviously, that's me using their aliases - he doesn't call them that...)' - thus saying that those two DID mean something to him, when he's maintained up until now that they didn't. *sigh* More lies.

Where's the bottom? When does it get better?