When you find out that you are the spouse of an addict, what do you do? Do you 'stand' next to them, sort-of near them, or in another room? Where do you begin to draw the lines of 'what you have done is unacceptable'? How do you continue to parent together? How do you define what's left of your marriage?
How in the hell do you go from being in the best time of your marriage to the absolute worst in an instant? What are you supposed to do?
Why do I have to lose my husband and my best friend in one fell swoop? Why can't any of it have been real?
Is there a chance that he'll ever be healthy enough to fix this?
Am I strong enough to walk away?
You are strong and you will get through this. I don't think there is any one 'right' answer to this situation. You have to find the right answer for you, with the support of people who love you very much. Right now I think you should let him decide how to get help for himself - you work on picking up the pieces of your life again and assembling them into something that will help you move forward. The future can be scary but when you make it through to the other side of this deep, dark pit you can and will have joy again. Smooches xxxxx
ReplyDeleteFirst, let me say that I wish I could give you a gigantic hug right now. You ARE strong! Look at all that you've gone through so far. As the daughter of an addict and former girlfriend of someone who died from addiction, my experience is that an addict will only get help when THEY are truly ready to seek it out. That is HIS issue. Your issue is deciding what you will tolerate, how much energy you want to give to repairing this, and where you want your life to head. You have an amazing support system of family and friends, and they will stick by you no matter what. Big hugs...
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