Made It.

This was the Baby's birthday weekend. That means that my in-laws were here. That means that my mother-in-law used her not inconsiderable talents as a nag aaaaaaaaall over me for a few days in a row.

You know, the whole thing would be easier if I could just write my in-laws out of my life. The thing is, even though they are in turn rude, racist and controlling, they truly love us, and want to be part of our lives. For the most part, I have managed to find a comfortable balance for myself over the years. Visiting them on occasion and having them in our home in a slow, comfortable cycle. I was able to calm down after each encounter, and purge the negativity as I went. In fact, I would actually look forward to our visits... only to then be blindsided by the inevitable back-handed 'compliment' or scathing condemnation disguised as an innocent passing remark. But it was still water off a duck until our daughter was born.

While we've never directly told his parents about any of our marital strife, his mother seems to have picked up on hints of it, and has incorrectly diagnosed it as 'ALL HER FAULT' (The Her here being ME). After I returned from England, and just shortly after Darling Daughter was born, she went so far as to send me a letter of Helpful Hints to Keep a Husband Happy (full of wonderful bon mots such as 'compliment him when he wears a suit') and even attempted to force a Dr. Laura Slessinger book on me. Since then, she has absolutely hounded me about every. little. thing.

She insists on clipping and sending me coupons then berates me for wasting her time.

One of the first things out of her mouth every time we talk 'privately' is an inquiry into how much I've worked since we last spoke even though she knows that I am only on-call and only have child care for a few hours each week.

Every shared meal becomes an attempt to show me how much I overpay for food. She thinks that my family should eat processed foods because they are cheaper.

My daughter has 'too many' toys. That one pisses me off even more than the others. We RARELY purchase toys for her, and when we do they are small and inexpensive. She happens to be blessed with a community of family and friends (The In-Laws included!) who shower her with gifts (new and used).

She insists on 'helping' with either cooking or cleaning then abandons her task halfway insisting that I just won't allow her to help.

Add in the afore-mentioned back-handed 'compliment' or scathing condemnation disguised as an innocent passing remark, and I am either emotionally wiped out or shaking with rage... or both... by the time we part ways.

This visit added in my first trimester exhaustion and the strain of our current situation. All I can say is that I am truly grateful to The Man and the bond that we share.

We've been doing pretty well lately what with communicating and all. We were able to work as a team all weekend and have a wonderful time with our daughter. It was a good thing.