Look Over Here

My post title is two-fold.

First, there are a few (very minor) layout changes to the blog. Check out my profile pic. That's me right now - partially submerged in case of emergency. If need be, I can close up my nostrils and dive for safety. You heard me. I'm a hippo. Also, I changed the header. I'm no longer poking the bear, I'm just talking about me. I am going to leave all of the previous posts intact. They were my truth at the time.

Second, I'm a tap dancer. Not in real life. In real life, I'm a terrible tap dancer - just ask my last teacher. She would yell things like 'Ba-da-da-da-DUM' and expect me to do the corresponding step immediately. She expected this because I had taken tap dancing before in my life - when I was 13 (and I wasn't that great at it then). When she knew me, I was 25, overweight and awful at tap. But I digress (Kittyn, does that make me part of the team?!). The tap dancing that I'm talking about is a diversionary tactic. If things are going poorly, I plow ahead full-steam as though everything is fine and I know exactly how to fix it if they're not. Usually when this occurs, I am also a bit wan faced and have a scarily manic look in my eye. You know. Tap dancing. 'Look over HERE! Not over there. Everything's FINE! I've got this!!!'

My hope is that this time around I will not tap dance. While I don't plan on wandering around looking lost, pathetic or hopeless (mainly because I'm not), I also don't plan on becoming manic and crazy trying to prove that everything is all right. Because it's not. But there is no need for crisis mode either. No one is in any danger.

I would like to promise myself to try and take this as it comes. No borrowing of trouble. No idealizing of possible outcomes. Just live in my now and breathe. I can do this. Whatever 'it' ends up being.

Oh, By the by. I have to poke one more time. Whoever that woman was that sent the info in February, she's alllllll worked up now. She thought that I would thank her for the info, and her feelings are hurt that I got all crazy angry and didn't believe her. Have I mentioned that I have e-mailed her at least once a month begging her to spar with me? Well I have. Turns out she was forwarding those to The Man. Now she's asking him to 'make me' leave her alone. Wow. You send one (or 5) taunting e-mails to a stranger and they get all bent out of shape... so I sent her one more. Just for closure. Oh, and by the way, even in the midst of this, The Man and I don't 'make' each other do anything. We're adults. We present situations and the other one decides what path to take. I chose this:

Geez


Calm down, woman. 


First, I'm sorry that I assumed that you were someone else. Second, I'm sorry that I on-line taunted you, but in all fairness, you never gave me reason to a) believe that you weren't the person that I suspected or b) believe you - since you never followed up with the requested proof. Frankly, when you backed off, it made me even more sure that you were lying.


ALSO, I'm not 'bothering' you. I'm simply responding to the e-mails that you sent to my husband, but that's all over.


I'm done. I guess you are too.
Take care.


Oh, I almost forgot to ask you - how bad is it that I sent The Man's main 'girlfriend' like... 4 really ugly taunting, poking e-mails yesterday and today? Really bad? Well, too late. I already did it. She won't play either. What is it about these gals? They're perfectly happy to talk smack about me if they think that I don't know about it, but they won't stand up to  me - even on-line?! I guess it's one thing to fuck somebody else's husband in secret, but when faced with the actuality of her, it becomes less fun?

On that note... good night.